my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
