whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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