Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
