Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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