my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
