i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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