he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
