you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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