either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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