I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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