I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
