Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize