i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
