trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize