There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
pray to the hookup gods
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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