Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
