Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
