I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
