she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
