help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize