Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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