nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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