wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
