I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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