someone owes me an orgasm
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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