When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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