My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize