I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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