just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
