they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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