This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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