I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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