I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
