your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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