The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
