Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
