No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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