You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it fun? or sober?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
