sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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