well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My penis needs a shock collar
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize