Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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