and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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