Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
