We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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