Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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