Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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