Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Small penises have feelings too.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
