Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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