I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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