Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
