Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
