is your mom at the bar?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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