im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
