She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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