dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
