i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
