Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
