He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize