what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
