I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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